well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
