Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hippo gnu deer
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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