Well apparently he's into motor boating.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
me + whiskey = a bad person
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
