Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
