You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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