Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
