Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
