I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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