4 words: hood of his car
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
