My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She's the barista slut.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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