Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
