I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
