How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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