Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
