I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
