my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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