she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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