She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
