it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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