so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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