I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
