spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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