Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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