The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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