Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
