I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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