What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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