What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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