ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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