The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
