he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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