i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
