found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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