tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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