just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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