You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
