woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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