"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
