I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
