Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
A+ Viking dick
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
