i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
