i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he fucked my hip out of place.
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No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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