Sry I called you an 8
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
