sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
