when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
