dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She just used a chaser for red wine.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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