she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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