Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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