Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
