Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
