i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
