he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
