i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize