Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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