Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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