After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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